Becoming a Mother in Vietnam During War

Summary of Article for Parents: Around 30 years ago, due to the Vietnam war, many Vietnamese women found they could not marry for lack of men returning from the war. They decided to take matters into their own hands and have a child as a single mother, breaking with Vietnamese tradition and facing discrimination for their choice. For article, click here.

For slideshow of images: click here. 

Map: Where is Vietnam? Click here.

Discussion with Kids:

• Many years ago, in the land of Vietnam (see map), there was a war. Many of the young men in the country had to go to the war. The young woman, who stayed home, found themselves with no one to marry. 
• In Vietnam, the tradition is for girls to marry at age 16. Age 20 is considered too old to marry. When the men returned from war, they wanted to marry the 16 year-olds. No one wanted to marry the 20 year-olds.
• May of the 20 year-olds were very worried. In Vietnam, the tradition is for your children to take care of you when you get old. If you have no children, no one is there to take care of you. These women wanted children. But another tradition was that you had to have a husband to have a child. What should these women have done? 
• (Feel free to approach this next part however you feel most comfortable. I'm going to see what answer my kids come up with. Otherwise, I'll tell them that the women prayed to God and he put a child in their bellies even though they had no husbands). 
• These women then had children even though they weren't married. Many of them moved to a small village together where they raised their children together. What do you think was the hardest part for them? 
• They say the hardest part was that other people in the village, who had husbands, made fun of them and made them feel bad. After a while, some villagers became nice to them and shared food and helped them. 
• Now, these women are older and have children to take care of them. Some ended up getting married later. Many didn't. It is still not common in Vietnam to have children without getting married but these women had to do an unusual/courageous thing because of the war. 
• What is something unusual/courageous that you once did?